Surviving the Holidays: Part 3 -Decorations, Lights, and the Pressure to Be Merry: When Holiday Cheer Feels Like a Trap
- Carrie
- Dec 6, 2025
- 3 min read
The holidays are visually, audibly, and sensorially loud. Twinkling lights, glittering decorations, festive music, crowded stores, the smell of pine and cinnamon—everything seems designed to overwhelm the senses. For many people, these things spark joy—but for some of us, they trigger stress, discomfort, or even anxiety.
For me, one sensory detail stands out every year: blue LED Christmas lights. My eyes! Just seeing them flicker across a neighbour’s house makes my eyes blurry from focusing so hard and my head aches.
But the sensory overload doesn’t stop at sight:
Auditory: The cacophony of holiday music, chatter, laughter, and commotion—think the chaos in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation when the grandparents arrive—can make your chest tighten and your nerves fray.
Taste: Large meals, rich desserts, and social pressure to “eat everything” can trigger body-image anxieties, disordered eating patterns, or guilt, making what should be a pleasant tradition feel stressful.
Touch: Forced hugs, jostling in crowded spaces, or even the coarse texture of glitter on decorations can feel irritating or invasive, sending your nervous system into alert.
Smell: Strong scents—from pine to peppermint to scented candles—can instantly trigger nausea, headaches, or emotional reactions if they are tied to past stress or trauma.
Visual: Bright, flashing, or excessive decorations—especially harsh LED lights—can create physical tension and overwhelm.
For me, these sensory triggers are tied to decades of experience. As a child, the holidays were chaotic and unsafe:
Conflicts between my parents over gifts, attention, and visitation schedules.
The need to hide trauma and pretend everything was okay.
Constant pressure to “look happy” while my body and mind were signaling danger.
Because of these foundations, sensory cues we now associate with Christmas can trigger a fight-or-flight response. It’s not that the season is inherently “bad,” but rather that our nervous systems have learned to react to stimuli associated with past stress, discomfort, or trauma.
The Emotions That Arise
When sensory overload hits, you might feel:
Overwhelm: Racing heart, tense muscles, or an urge to flee.
Irritability or frustration: Feeling “on edge” without knowing why.
Anxiety or panic: Dread before even stepping into a store or family gathering.
Sadness or grief: Mourning the holidays you never had or the sense of peace that was missing.
Shame or guilt: Wondering why you can’t “just enjoy it” like everyone else.
These emotions are valid. They are not a personal failure—they are echoes of past experiences, and your nervous system’s way of keeping you safe.
Coping Tools for Sensory Overload
Even when the holidays feel triggering, there are ways to manage your nervous system and protect your energy:
Limit exposure: Skip or reduce decorating, shopping, or visiting overwhelming displays. Protect your energy.
Create sensory buffers: Noise-cancelling headphones, sunglasses or dimmed lights, soothing scents, or calming music. For me, that means avoiding harsh blue LED lights whenever possible.
Grounding exercises: Stand barefoot on the floor, press your hands to your legs, or feel the texture of an object while breathing deeply.
Time outs: Step away from gatherings or crowded stores, even for five minutes, to reset.
Mindful observation: Notice your body’s reactions without judgment. Name what you feel: “I feel tense… anxious… frustrated… overwhelmed.” Awareness reduces intensity.
Self-soothing rituals: Warm drinks, soft blankets, familiar scents, or quiet corners can create comfort.
Set realistic expectations: You do not need to participate in every tradition, decoration, or social obligation. Your wellbeing comes first.
Remember:
Holiday cheer isn’t a requirement, and discomfort doesn’t make you a Grinch. Many of us carry history, trauma, and sensory sensitivities that make traditional holiday celebrations challenging. Recognizing your triggers—visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory, or gustatory—and using tools to protect your energy are acts of self-care and self-preservation, not weakness.
In the next blog, we’ll dive deeper into family dynamics, trauma, and why so many of us dread the holidays—exploring how relational history and expectations amplify the pressure to perform “holiday happiness.”
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