Reflecting on Mother’s Day After Loss

Honouring love, memory, and the quiet ways we continue forward.

This is the first Mother's Day without my mom, who passed in January of this year. I have rode the roller coaster of emotions, and feel the best way to express them, is to write about them and share them.

Mother’s Day can feel complicated after the loss of a mother or mother figure. Even when we know the date is coming, it can arrive with an unexpected heaviness — woven into commercials, flowers at grocery stores, social media posts, and the simple ache of realizing someone important is no longer physically here to call, hug, or celebrate with.

For many, grief on Mother’s Day is not only sadness. It can also be reflection, gratitude, tenderness, longing, confusion, numbness, or even moments of peace. There is no single “right” way to move through this day.

The truth is, love does not disappear when someone passes. Relationships change form, but the imprint of someone who nurtured, guided, protected, or cared for us remains within our lives in quiet and meaningful ways.

Sometimes grief speaks loudly.

Sometimes it whispers through memory.

You may notice yourself remembering small things this year:

• the way she laughed,

• recipes she made,

• advice she repeated,

• traditions she created,

• the scent of her perfume,

• the comfort of simply knowing she was there.

These memories can feel bittersweet, but they are also reminders that love leaves traces. Even in absence, connection can still exist through memory, ritual, storytelling, and the ways we carry their teachings into our own lives.

This Mother’s Day, it may help to release the pressure to “get through the day” perfectly. Instead, allow yourself to experience it gently.

You might choose to:

• light a candle in their honour,

• look through old photographs,

• visit a meaningful place,

• make their favourite meal,

• spend time in nature,

• write them a letter,

• or simply rest and give yourself compassion.

There is strength in allowing yourself softness.

What am I doing to remember my mother? Building a garden to not only remember my mother, but also my mother-in-law who passed in 2024. The Mother's Memorial Garden here on the retreat. We start it today.

AI Generated Image of the future Mothers' Memorial Garden on the retreat.

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Grief is not a sign that we are broken. It is often a reflection of deep love. And while loss changes us, it can also deepen our appreciation for connection, presence, and the moments that truly matter.

For those walking through their first Mother’s Day without their mother or mother figure, please know this: there is no timeline for healing, and there is no expectation for how you “should” feel. Some moments may feel heavy, while others may bring warmth, laughter, or gratitude. All of it is welcome.

You are allowed to hold grief and love at the same time.

And perhaps this Mother’s Day is not only about mourning what has been lost, but also honouring what continues: the lessons, the memories, the resilience, the love, and the bond that shaped part of who you are today.

Wherever this day finds you, may you move through it with gentleness. May you allow space for memory without forcing yourself into sorrow. And may you remember that love has many ways of staying close.

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Gentle Journal Prompts

• What is one memory of my mother/mother figure that still brings me comfort?

• What qualities or lessons from them do I carry within myself today?

• If I could say one thing to them right now, what would it be?

• What would it look like to care for myself gently this Mother’s Day?

• How can I honour their memory in a way that feels meaningful to me?